The Valued Self centres on our identity and self worth and our ability to manifest an appropriate response in the dynamic present. Personally, it involves establishing and communicating positive boundaries with loved ones. Professionally, it includes managing finances wisely and associating with clients and colleagues who appreciate our ideas, time and effort. 

Consider the potential benefits of prioritising those who truly value you instead of wasting your energy on those who don’t.

Anytime you choose to embark upon self-enquiry it is important that you first bring yourself into the space of the heart. It may be helpful to meditate or engage in mindful breathing exercises before commencing.

If you are new to meditation or my practice, I invite you to join our Facebook group, Playing Bigger Playing Beautiful and familiarise yourself with my philosophies and style. Once your join request is approved, you will be greeted with a meditation to get you started. Click here to access it.  

I take immense pride in our community of heart centred women in business. Not only is it open and inviting, it welcomes individuals from various spiritual and business backgrounds and experience-levels. This diversity strengthens our community, fostering a culture where members, regardless of their expertise, can share and support each other emotionally, mentally and energetically. 

Establishing a strong connection with The Valued Self is essential for enhancing self-worth. Women, in particular, often grapple with people-pleasing habits rooted in historical context. Overcoming these patterns is difficult but achievable through a heightened connection to The Valued Self and through fostering healthier behaviours stemming from mindfulness and a deeper understanding of self.

Can you differentiate between your logical mind, emotional centre, and intuitive instincts? By leveraging this self-awareness, can you focus on your spirituality, make positive decisions, draw lessons from the past, and break free from unproductive patterns? How could you apply this wisdom to enhance your business growth?

Our self-enquiry exercise explores The Valued Self, examining our response to whatever arises when we contemplate our value beyond what we can do for people.

For those struggling to assert themselves, establish boundaries, or avoid people-pleasing tendencies, embracing the concept of The Valued Self can be profoundly transformative. Increasing awareness of The Valued Self reveals that our worth is intrinsic, not dependent on what we do for others. This connection liberates us from behaviours that conflict with our values, purpose, and self-care. Emphasising and prioritising ourselves doesn’t diminish our worth, in fact it has tangible benefits to ourselves and those in our lives. Interestingly, setting boundaries can sometimes differentiate our healthy relationships from our toxic associations, enabling us to peacefully and respectfully shift away. 

Levels of Understanding

If you are familiar with my work, and in particular with my model of emotional self-inquiry The 6 Selves™,  you will know that there are three levels of understanding that inform connections to the self and how it manifests and impacts both your personal and professional life.

Level 1 – Intellect (Mind) – How we comprehend and make sense of the world around us 

Level 2 – Emotion (Body) – How we physically feel the experience

Level 3  – Energetic (Spirit) – How we connect in to something greater than ourselves 


The Valued Self – Body

In this post, we are looking at the Emotion (Body) and how this connects to The Valued Self. The questions I have prepared are repetitive as this will help drill down into deeper, often subconscious, levels of meaning. 

  1. How does my body feel when I am connected to my valued self?
  2. How does my body feel when I consider how I am valued by those around me?
  3. How does my body feel when I say ‘yes’ to others?
  4. How does my body feel when I say ‘no’ to others?
  5. How does my body feel when I’m connected to people who respect my boundaries?
  6. How does my body feel when I’m connected to people who do respect my boundaries?
  7. How does my body feel when I prioritise my own self-care?
  8. How does my body feel when I don’t prioritise my own self-care?

Quiet introspection can sometimes surface uncomfortable and possibly repressed emotions. Approach this process with self-compassion, acknowledging any reactions without judgement of them. Treat yourself with the kindness and compassion you deserve. And remember, your willingness to invest in yourself and “do the work” will enable you to grow and flourish.

My next post will further explore The Valued Self at a level three understanding. I’m looking forward to sharing it with you. 

Big Love, 

Deb x 

For more information on how to work with me to go deeper into the benefits of The 6 Selves™ and the outcomes you can achieve when you focus intentionally on these areas visit