The concept of the Valued Self revolves around our ability to see ourselves as important and worthy of respect. It is inexorably linked to our sense of self and our capacity to demonstrate resilience and consistency, no matter what life throws at us. On a personal level, this may require us to set and enforce positive boundaries with those around us. In a professional context, it may manifest as the willingness to choose respectful, grateful and collaborative people to work with. It even extends to our ability to make wise financial decisions. 

This blog post encourages you to reflect on the potential advantages of prioritising relationships, whether personal or professional, with those who genuinely appreciate and value you. What would it look like to invest solely in these types of connections, rather than expending energy on those who do not?

Anytime you choose to embark upon self-enquiry it is important that you first bring yourself into the space of the heart. It may be helpful to meditate or engage in mindful breathing exercises before commencing.

If you are new to meditation or my practice, I invite you to join our Facebook group, Playing Bigger Playing Beautiful and familiarise yourself with my philosophies and style. Once your join request is approved, you will be greeted with a meditation to get you started. Click here to access it.  

I take immense pride in our community of heart centred women in business. Not only is it open and inviting, it welcomes individuals from various spiritual and business backgrounds and experience-levels. This diversity strengthens our community, fostering a culture where members, regardless of their expertise, can share and support each other emotionally, mentally and energetically. 

Establishing a strong connection with The Valued Self is essential for enhancing self-worth. Women, in particular, often grapple with people-pleasing habits rooted in historical context. Overcoming these patterns is difficult but achievable through a heightened connection to The Valued Self and through fostering healthier behaviours stemming from mindfulness and a deeper understanding of self.

The ability to differentiate between your intellect which enables you to comprehend the world, your emotions which help you to discern a physical feeling of your experiences and your energetic sensations which enable you to connect with something higher, is something that can be fostered over time through self enquiry.

The following exercise explores The Valued Self, examining our response to whatever arises when we contemplate our value beyond what we can do for people. This work can be particularly profound for those who struggle with self-esteem or who find the concept and practice of setting boundaries challenging. The notion that valuing and protecting ourselves through the setting and enforcing of healthy boundaries can be a pathway to deeper, more meaningful relationships can be a difficult one to grasp but it is through this work that we begin to open our minds to the notion that giving to ourselves is not, in fact, taking away from others. 

Levels of Understanding

If you are familiar with my work, and in particular with my model of emotional self-inquiry The 6 Selves ®,  you will know that there are three levels of understanding that inform connections to the self and how it manifests and impacts both your personal and professional life.

Level 1 – Intellect (Mind) – How we comprehend and make sense of the world around us 

Level 2 – Emotion (Body) – How we physically feel the experience

Level 3  – Energetic (Spirit) – How we connect in to something greater than ourselves 


The Valued Self – Spirit

In this post, we are looking at the Energetic (spirit) and how this connects to The Valued Self. The questions I have prepared are repetitive as this will help drill down into deeper, often subconscious, levels of meaning. 

  1. How does my spirit feel when I am connected to my valued self?
  2. How does my spirit feel when I consider how I am valued by those around me?
  3. How does my spirit feel when I say ‘yes’ to others?
  4. How does my spirit feel when I say ‘no’ to others?
  5. How does my spirit feel when I’m connected to people who respect my boundaries?
  6. How does my spirit feel when I’m connected to people who do respect my boundaries?
  7. How does my spirit feel when I prioritise my own self-care?
  8. How does my spirit feel when I don’t prioritise my own self-care

As always, be gentle with yourself as you conduct this work as it can open the floodgates on disquieting notions and carefully suppressed feelings. Approach this exercise with curiosity and thoughtful observation and extend yourself the same compassion that you would a dear friend. The objective is not for the work to be easy but for it to be undertaken. Simply showing up for yourself in this way demonstrates your singular commitment to personal development. Celebrate this! 

My next post will further explore The Ecological Self at a level one understanding. I’m looking forward to sharing it with you. 

Big Love, 

Deb x 

For more information on how to work with me to go deeper into the benefits of The 6 Selves® and the outcomes you can achieve when you focus intentionally on these areas visit