For a little while I debated whether or not I should incorporate The Sexual Self in The 6 Selves model. What on earth does sex have to do with business or creative expression?

A lot in fact. When a woman feels safe sexually (with or without another) she can show up authentically and express herself in the world with confidence and conviction. 

This is an emotional internal process that shifts the inner focus, thus shifting the outer world. The sexual self encompasses two parts;

  • The first is feeling Goddess-like, having your mojo, loving what you are wearing, and how you connect with your body as a woman.
  • The second part is creative expression and how this is reflected in your career or your business.  Accessing these areas of self provides a deeper level of creative thinking and remarkable positive benefits to your career, business, and finances. 

As always, please be sure to meditate, breathe and bring yourself into the space of the heart before embarking on self-enquiry.

If you are new to meditation or my practice, I invite you to join our Facebook group, Playing Bigger Playing Beautiful, and familiarise yourself with my philosophies and coaching style. Once your join request is approved, you will be greeted with a meditation to get you started. Click here to access it.  

Tuning into the Sexual Self is essential for those wishing to integrate their feminine and masculine energy and maximise their capacity for creative expression. By nurturing this part of ourselves, we can replace unfounded feelings of shame and show up in the world with a confidence which puts others at ease and elevates our ability to self-manage and self-lead . This same confidence enables us to receive creative inspiration and seek out a fulfilment of our personal and professional desires. 

Are you able to differentiate between what your head (rational brain), heart (emotional brain) or gut (intuitive brain) are telling you? And can you use this information to connect with your sensuality, make wise decisions, learn from the past, and avoid unhealthy patterning?

In this blog post, we will examine The Sexual Self with a special focus on The Mind. We will examine our thoughts in response to the dominant notions that arise when we are undergoing various daily tasks such as choosing clothing, eating, and exercise.

It is important to note before we delve into this particular aspect of self-inquiry, that within each of us exists an inner critic and an inner wise woman or, as Tara Mohr author of Playing Big often describes, our ‘inner mentor’. Please remember to be gentle with yourself in this particular area. Sexuality is understandably remarkably intimate, deeply personal and can stir up or shine a light upon areas within that require healing, nurturing, and attention. So please sit back, relax, and kindly ponder these journal questions.

The goal is to connect to the part of us within that is as equally open to giving as it is as receiving. The ideal is to access a place within where masculine (doing energy) and feminine (being energy) dance rhythmically.

For example, if you are not currently at your ideal body weight, are you able to sit quietly with this part of you to uncover what is REALLY being expressed? It is easy to move quickly into masculine energy by altering your calorie intake or toughening up your exercise regime (in some instances). It can be more challenging to take a gentle approach and inquire into this aspect of your body and your sensual expression. As I type this I am reminded of the era I grew up in (the nineties) where all we wanted was to be a size zero like Kate Moss. We dieted and obsessed because of what we were taught to believe beauty was. Thank heavens these days with body pride movements such as The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty and the Body Image Movement by Taryn Brumfit, we know that beauty isn’t singular and that it truly comes from within. We have choice, we have power and we have the ability to love ourselves at any stage, age or size. 


Levels of Understanding

If you are familiar with my work, and in particular with my model of emotional self-inquiry The 6 Selves™,  you will know that there are three levels of understanding that inform connections to the self and how it manifests:

Level 1 – Intellect (Mind) – How we comprehend and make sense of the world around us

Level 2 – Emotion (Body) – How we physically feel the experience

Level 3  – Energetic (Spirit) – How we connect in to something greater than ourselves 

The Sexual Self – Mind

In this post, we are looking at the Intellect (Mind) and how this connects to the Sexual Self. Please ask yourself the following prompting questions. You will notice they are repetitive in nature. Please know they are designed this way to ignite deeper personal inquiry.

  1. What were my thoughts as I chose my outfit today?
  2. What were my thoughts when I chose the food I ate, or will eat, today?
  3. If you exercise regularly ask: What were my thoughts when I exercised today?
  4. If you do not exercise regularly ask: What are my thoughts when I consider the last time I exercised?
  5. What are my usual thoughts when I dress to go out in a personal setting?
  6. What are my usual thoughts when I dress to go out in a professional setting?
  7. What are my usual thoughts when I am eating with friends or acquaintances?
  8. What are my usual thoughts when I am eating with colleagues, team leaders, or mentors in a professional setting?

Though much of what we explored here is intuitive and logical, I hope that the practice of making space for gentle self-enquiry has opened some possibilities for you in your personal and professional life. 

My next post will delve further into the Sexual Self with regards to how it connects to the Emotion (Body) at a level two understanding. 

Big Love,

Deb x 

For more information on how to work with me to go deeper into the benefits of The 6 Selves™ and the outcomes you can achieve when you focus intentionally on these areas visit